Friday, May 20, 2011

When Hell freezes over, can we have a patch* session?

With the end of the world imminent, I wanted to put a little closure to this blog.

First, I want to apologize to my readers for many months of boring posts. This blog has morphed into a catalog of things I can and can't do on the ice which may or may not be hip related. This appeals to about 3 ice dancers who have nothing better to do because their ice is down for repair before the rapture.

And I know what you're saying. "Terri, you were so much more witty and entertaining back when you were lying in bed all day with your pelvis broken." And you're right, I was. Occasionally readers even laughed out loud, which helped them deal with the pain of their own dysplasia diagnoses and upcoming PAO surgeries.

I hear those readers who tell me that "hip dysplasia is so 2009, get over it and move on already." You're right. The details of my hip dysplasia saga are archived here for all eternity, which might end tomorrow, for anyone who wants to read them. I can still give major updates when appropriate, but there's really not that much left to say.

I also hear those readers who say "ice dancing, major yawn. While we appreciate the entertainment value when you post videos of you falling on your doubly-PAO'd ass, can you please write about some of your more interesting hobbies instead?"

Why, yes I can. My very interesting hobbies include the following:

~Blogging: I don't think a blog about blogging would gain much traction.

~Judging Figure Skating: Snore.

~My On Again, Off Again Obsession With Yoga: I'm not even interested enough to write about it.

~Bargain Shopping: While I am the queen of the bargain clothing shoppers, bargain blogs are a dime a dozen (actually a dozen costs just a nickel at The Rack). Besides, if I posted my secret source for Michael Kors cotton blouses at 90% off retail there'd be fewer bargains for me. For those of you who are not my size, contact me privately.

~Sewing: While I thought my one post about sewing was fairly entertaining, I am not sure everyone shares my view. There are many other more entertaining sewing blogs, such as The Selfish Seamstress. I admire her fashion sense, clever use of third person and, well, selfishness.

~Criticizing the Table Manners, Driving Habits, Child-Rearing Practices and Grammar of others: This idea has potential.

~Making Fun of Current Events: Ah, so much fodder for fun here. For example, the recent circumcision ban proposed in San Francisco just begs for blog attention, but I am not sure I want to blog about the politics of foreskins.

~Making Fun of Myself: Narcissistic, but this is a blog, after all.

Signing off ... for now ... must change into something more appropriate for the end of the world. You can catch me next week, probably from hell, which I hope has frozen over and is not full of hockey players.

*"Patch" - A figure skating activity during which each skater is assigned a strip of ice on which to practice school figures (figure 8s). Interestingness score for patch as a spectator sport for non-skaters is on par with watching grass grow or paint dry, thus this aspect of figure skating has been phased out to boost figure skating's TV appeal. Purists and judges lament the passing of school figures and concurrent decline in basic skating skills, but that's a topic for another post.

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