Did I or didn't I?

I know that all of my loyal readers, that is to say, both of you, have been anxiously waiting to find out whether today was a repeat of "twizzle" or back to "fizzle." Happily I twizzled today (about half of my 20 attempts were good). I could almost call this a "trend." I would like to think this means I'm on the road to permanent twizzlehood.

I've been trying to con my husband into meeting me at the mall for "lunch," which means I could also sweet talk him into doing some videotaping since there is coincidentally a rink at the mall. I'd like to document the twizzle before it disappears again. So far he's seen right through my ploy and he keeps turning me down, claiming that he is on a diet or busy or some other excuse that I'm just not buying. Look for video here as soon as he does something that really pisses me off and needs to somehow apologize.

It's back ...

My on again, off again relationship with the Argentine twizzle continues. I am obsessed with the damn thing and not in a good way. I tell myself each session that I am going to try a few and then move on to other things, but I sometimes spend the entire hour mentally and physically flogging myself with it as it continues to coyly elude me.

Today's lesson broke the destructive cycle as Coach R, genius that she is, realized that I am starting the lobe with my arms already in counter position. When she switched it so that I started the lobe normally and went into counter position at the twizzle point, I twizzled. Magic. I still touched my toe down ever so briefly on about 90% of them but the 10% I did well felt very much like they did back in the day. Almost like a real skater.

And let's be sure to laugh at my experience with the fishing pole harness today. This genius idea was all mine, not Coach R's. I thought if she put me on the harness and I didn't have any fear of falling and smashing my pelvis and having to explain this to my surgeon, Dr. Mayo, my muscle memory might just kick in. She was game to try, so out I went strapped in to the harness to work on my quad, ... uh, ... twizzles. I am sure those watching were expecting something far more exciting, like a move that actually leaves the ice, to merit so much protective gear. I am sure it was very disapointing for the mall audience when they realized they weren't going to see Michelle Kwan today. No, the fishing pole lasted about 5 minutes until we figured out it wasn't tricking me mentally into thinking anything other than OMG, my hair is going to get caught in this thing, which caused me to duck my head every time I came out of the twizzle.

Interestingly, I can do the Arge twizzle consistently well on my right foot (always the stronger side now as that was the hip operated most successfully). If only the dance were done clockwise, but no. Then it would be the Enitnegra Tango and what with the Cha Cha Congelado and the Finnstep, we don't need any more silly dance names.

We then moved on to the tough step on the Westminster Waltz (no, not the one you think, I rock at that one). The step I struggle with is the step from RFI to LFI. Sounds easy, no? No. But easier after today's lesson.

Stay tuned to see if the twizzle sticks around for tomorrow's practice or whether it's a no show again.

Deliberate practice ... is not inherently enjoyable

“The important thing is not just practice but deliberate practice, a constant sense of self-evaluation, of focusing on one’s weaknesses, rather than simply fooling around and playing to one’s strengths. Studies show that practice aimed at remedying weaknesses is a better predictor of expertise than raw number of hours; playing for fun and repeating what you already know is not necessarily the same as efficiently reaching a new level. Most of the practice that most people do, most of the time, be it in the pursuit of learning the guitar or improving their golf game, yields almost no effect.”



Read more: http://ideas.time.com/2012/01/25/the-myth-of-practice-makes-perfect/

Fizzle

Fizzle = Failed Twizzle.

It was a short-lived victory. After my carefree day of Arge twizzle excitement two weeks ago (at least 20 of them! with speed! with music! in the dance!) I have not been able to do a single one since. For one great dance session I felt like I was back in my old body again; now the crappy "improved" one has returned.

Of course this is incredibly frustrating but I am pretty sure it will come back some day ... It's as if I have been given a tantalizing glimpse of the possible. Did two weeks ago actually happen, or was that just in my head?

I never thought about the turn before surgery, just did it. I am pretty sure I'm over-thinking it now, trying to figure out what I used to do to make it work. I have also tried to just not think at all and let the muscles remember, but so far that's not working either.

So, focusing on the positive ... I did some off-ice axels which made me incredibly sore. I am not supposed to jump but I did, and I was able to do full one-and-a-half rotation and land them on one foot. That was fun. The Blues choctaw has become pretty consistent but takes too long (about 3 beats instead of 2, talk about messed up timing). The Rhumba choctaw is really consistent.

Choctaws require more hip action than a counter/twizzle a la arge, so I am at a loss to explain any of this. It's like a sick joke, only not very funny. I can only attribute the twizzle failure to muscles that were damaged and still not firing correctly vs. lack of hip turnout.

As my husband said about the inconsistency and frustration, "welcome to golf." Another expensive and infuriating pastime ... and one which I have no interest in pursuing.

Breakthrough

I have not been doing much blogging lately, but after skating today I am compelled to memorialize today's events. Fellow ice dancers will likely appreciate this post more than fellow hippies.

Today was a breakthrough day. First: I did 2 patterns of the Paso solo on time, including the restart both times. The restart mohawk is incredibly difficult on my hips. I've fought to get the cross rolls on time and on the right part of the blade so they roll. I was pretty close today.

Second: I was able to do the Argentine twizzle for the first time since my surgery. I just did it out of nowhere after struggling with it for months. Then I put it in the dance at about half speed and did it again. And again, and again. Hoping it is not a fluke and it's here to stay. (Note that it's hard because it's really a counter, not a twizzle ... twizzles are mostly easy for me.)

Third: I was able to do the Quickstep choctaw for the first time since my surgery. Same principle as the Argentine twizzle really, and it's because I finally have the muscle control to get over a solid FO edge going into both of them.

Last week I had a breakthrough on my rockers (I'm doing the Junior Moves rocker patterns so it's all of my rockers, but in particular the FO which are the most difficult for the same reason the twizzle and choctaw were -- not being able to hold a solid FO edge).

I attribute my breakthrough to a couple of things: (1) My OIE Platform, (2) Pilates twice weekly (3) Yoga once per week and (4) seeing some videos of myself skating circa 2001 which kicked me in the butt because I really want to skate like that again.

Who cares why I'm improving -- off-ice training, self-pity, whatever it takes! Just glad that I am still moving forward.

Hippiversary

Friday November 18th was my two-year hippiversary for my left (second) PAO. I am a little late with this update as I was traveling. I celebrated by walking a mile uphill in snow and rain (the snow wasn't sticking to the ground so it wasn't as bad as it sounds). This is something I couldn't have done without major repercussions before my surgery. I was a little stiff the next day but not incapacitated.

When you have a PAO, they tell you that it takes a full two years to heal. At this point I can say that I'm probably as healed as I will ever be. So what's it like two years later?

~I can walk without crippling pain, although walking a long distance, up hill, or carrying a load does make me sore and stiff. I still limp on occasion but it takes a lot. Walking used to be something I loved to do but now it's not my favorite activity. I think I could build up my walking ability if I wanted to work on it, but so far I save my time and energy for other things.
~My overall flexibility and range of motion is far less than it used to be. Period. This has been discussed in prior posts and is probably my biggest bummer. Like the walking, I could probably work harder on this by going to yoga every day or really working on it, but even with a lot of work I will not be where I used to be. It is what it is.
~Skating is generally not painful as long as I don't do anything challenging. My coordination and balance are not what they used to be and this prevents me from doing a lot of things that I used to do without thinking about since I learned them as a kid. It has been a strange and frustrating journey to try re-learning. Sometimes the things that were easiest are now the hardest and vice versa. It's as if my entire body has been re-wired. (Help! I'm trapped in somebody else's body and it won't listen to me!)
~The usual suspect muscles are still weaker than they were, but I am stronger than your average 48-year-old. Hip flexors, glutes and abductors are still fairly lazy -- not for a regular person, but for a figure skater. I say that because for normal activities and perhaps if I took up a different sport, this would not be an issue. Let's be honest; the surgery cut right through the most useful muscles for skating and they have not fully recovered and probably never will.
~My psoas is still very tight and causes some back pain. I am trying different stretches to alleviate this.
~I am not pain free. Now my pain is muscle fatigue, soreness and stiffness and not bone-on-bone arthritis pain. I can deal with that.
~I still don't like to stand for long periods of time or walk or stand on hard surfaces. I can do it, but I pay for it the next day with soreness.
~I still use a cane for long walks and downtown, where I work. This is for balance and also self preservation. I have been wacked too many times in the pelvis by careless people swinging bags around at hip level. Ouch. I use the cane to keep them the hell away from me. I thought about getting a hiking pole instead, but I actually prefer the geriatric look of the cane. It says, "be careful, I have something wrong with me" vs. "I am cool, I like to go hiking in the city!" I still feel vulnerable enough that I want to broadcast the "something wrong with me" part. I also don't want anyone to give me dirty looks if I have to sit down (on the bus, during a tour, whatever) and don't give up my seat. Of course, I do give up my seat to anyone worse off than I am, and that's most people. But it's my choice.

A happy Thanksgiving all. I am still thankful that medical science has come far enough to keep me mobile; in past generations I would be in a wheelchair by now.

Cha Cha, Continued ...

I promise to update this blog on my two-year hippiversary for PAO#2 in November. Until then, life goes on.