'Nuff Said

Hipiphany

Above - great example of breaking at the waist by me (not Doug)

Non-skater alert: long, boring, technical skating rant follows … your time may be better spent elsewhere.

Notable skating coach quotes over the years:

• “Don’t break at the waist!”
• “Tuck your butt under!”
• “Don’t stick your butt out!”
• “Stand up straight!”

I have a big skater butt and it does stick out and I also have a swayback which makes it look worse than it is. The swayback probably developed by my body over time to provide additional acetabular coverage to the tops of my naked femurs. Blah blah blah, I’ve said all this before. But I never really connected all the dots in my mind until now.

Outside to outside Mohawks, especially closed Mohawks, have always been challenging for me. I would start to turn and instantly break at the waist, despite superhuman attempts not to. I was then “stuck” and couldn’t turn at all. Because what happens when you break forward at the waist? Well, your hips close up, of course. So if your hips are already closed and you break at the waist there is no way you are going to turn. But in the past somehow finally I was able to learn a way to do them just by sheer force of will and muscling through, although I did bail out a lot when with a partner because in a dance hold I couldn’t maneuver myself into a position to force the turn. I never knew if they were going to work or not.

This caused years and years of frustration for me and coaches who’ve thrown up their hands and said it’s “all in my head.” This is why it took me years to learn one step in the Rocker Foxtrot so I could finally test it, a step that a decent skater like me should be able to do in their sleep and a step that less capable skaters without hip problems can do without even thinking about. Talk about beating yourself up.

Breaking forward was the only way I could find to get my feet together before turning without extreme pain/grinding/popping/locking up in my hip. Not knowing I was dysplastic, I thought this pain was caused by being out of shape and not working hard enough; I also just blamed it on “closed hips.” Although I didn’t realize it at the time, breaking forward was my way of keeping the ball of my femur covered during the turn. If I hadn’t been bent forward the hip joint could have popped out of the socket and probably did a couple of times. This was all pre-surgery. Now post-surgery I am weaker and less able to muscle my way through things so these turns are currently impossible.

Recently Judge L and Coach John both watched me and said “your foot is plenty turned out” and they are right based on what can be seen. This apparent turnout is coming from the knee, not the hip. When I extend the free leg to the back my leg looks turned out almost normally because I fake it from the knee down. But when I bring it in to the T position to turn, the foot may look turned out, but the hip itself is actually turned in and jammed against the acetabular rim. This is painful and feels “stuck” (a word I’ve used to describe these Mohawks since I first learned them back in the dark ages, to which coaches replied, “stretch more” and “work harder” and “don’t break at the waist”).

Now that the dysplasia has been surgically corrected, bringing my free leg in with the foot turned out and not breaking forward at the waist doesn’t force the hip joint out of the socket, but it does force the ball of my hip forward against the front rim of the acetabulum and it grinds to a halt there, thus the “jammed” feeling. Post surgery it’s the same problem with a slightly different cause. It’s not lack of femoral coverage now, but impingement against the newly-oriented acetabulum. Plus, my muscles are trained to do this the “old way.” I hear and feel the crackling and the tendons snapping. My tight psoas tries to pull my pelvis forward against my will. I can feel the pain in the iliac crest, glute, adductors and hip flexors, and as a grinding within the joint itself as the ball hits the rim.

I’ve done this off the ice a lot lately trying to build up my ability. Those muscles that bring the leg in and turn it out and keep my pelvis from tipping were damaged during surgery and have never been used this way before due to years of compensation.

Armed with knowledge, will I be able to re-train my body? There’s no risk of my hip coming out of the socket now. Perhaps I won’t have to bend at the waist if I can re-train my muscles and somehow maneuver the ball of the joint to the side so it doesn’t jam up against the rim of the socket. I don’t know. We’ll see if this German Shepherd can learn a new trick.

The Good, the BAID, and the Ugly

I know some of you (ahem, Larry) are waiting with baided breath to hear all about the past weekend. And so, without further delay, here goes:

I am sore. The end.

Those of you who are not ice dancers can stop reading now. Those of you who are ice dancers or masochists can read on for the gory details.

Last time I went to BAID, two years ago, I had been diagnosed with dysplasia a couple of months earlier and thought my skating life was coming to an end. I was waiting for my first appointment with Dr. Mayo which would be at the end of October, and was still thinking a PAO was out of the question. I was skating with a lot of pain. My partner Tim came to the dance weekend too and I took him through his Starlight Waltz test so that we were finally qualified to skate the Gold Dance event at Adult Nationals. For fun, I tested my Standard Silver Samba with a coach in the Bay Area (after about an hour of practice with him). It was a rather crazy idea to "throw it out there" but I was able to pass it.

Now, two years later, I am in a different body and not going to throw anything out there and my definition of crazy has changed considerably. On Friday night I was feeling very good and energetic and skated most of the three hours of social dancing while dressed as a lion tamer, complete with bullwhip, as part of the "circus" theme.

I attempted dances with partners for the first time, including a Tango (could do all but the mohawk, so frustrating), a Willow (with Coach Peter, so the "gold version" of this dance), a Viennese, a Paso, a Samba (solo), a European, a Cha Cha Congelado, and various lower dances. I skipped the usual suspects that are just plain un-doable (Fiesta, Blues, Quickstep, Foxtrot, Rocker, Kilian, Starlight, Arge). Coach John gave me a fabulous 5 minute "mini lesson" on my outside to outside forward and backward mohawks which seem impossible right now, and I had an epiphany (more on that in a future post). I skated a lot and when I went to bed that night I was surprised that I didn't have any more pain than usual. I thought I might be miraculously cured.

Fast forward to the next morning when I woke feeling beat up and run over. I went to the morning seminar which involves more standing around than skating, thank God, and did the lower level seminar (canasta and hickory) and not the higher level seminar (blues and quickstep). I rather regretted being in the lower group because it was too easy, but the higher group would have been impossible in my stiff and sore state. I was dying to work on blues and quickstep since they are two dances I can't do right now, but in any case didn't want to get in the way of the better skaters who can legitimately do them.

In the afternoon I managed 2 dances during the four-hour session, and I think one of them was a Dutch Waltz in which I could not make the pattern very big so people were passing us, and another was something like a swing dance (but I don't remember, it's all a painful blur). I was limping pretty significantly and went to the evening party, where I parked my butt in a chair to watch the ballroom dancing.

Sunday was better. I spent the first part of the morning judging the test session and getting very cold. I then sat in the sun to thaw a bit before venturing out for the last hour of skating. I was in medium pain (better than Saturday) but decided to just push through it. I did a fabulous Dutch Waltz with Mike (He didn't hold back and while I could barely hold the edges I grit my teeth and stayed on my feet) and a great European with Coach Jimmy (he didn't hold back either and I was able to stay with him). It felt good to make myself push through and I while I didn't do any difficult dances, I tried to make the easier dances look good - head up, extended free leg, edges as deep as I can do with my minimal quad strength. It was the best I could do and I was happy with it.

All in all, I did better than I thought I could on Friday, was surprised at how much it took out of me on Saturday, and surprised myself again on Sunday with how well I could do things if I used all my effort.

I am taking today off. Tomorrow I go back to the rink to work on what I learned from Coach John on Friday night. The 5 minutes he gave me were, as always, full of wisdom. I need to work hard on what he told me and perhaps there will be hope for the mohawks and choctaws. I will describe my epiphany in a future post, so stay tuned.

Pass the NSAIDs ... it's time for BAID

Just a few more days until the Bay Area Ice Dance Weekend. This will be my first social dance weekend since surgery, and I haven't done much partnered dancing other than with Coach I and Tim. Dancing socially can be hazardous because just like a box of chocolates, "you never know what you are going to get." There is a range of ability and you are changing partners for each dance. Everyone has different technique, so synching up is the challenge.

My goal is to dance as many dances as I can safely do with any competent partner. I will be up front about my limitations of course. There are many dances that I can do competently "except for one step" (usually the highlight step). So I will only do those with partners who either know me well or don't mind some cheating going on stepwise. Or I might solo them.

I will have to pace myself since my muscles still tire easily. There will be 3 hours of skating on Friday night and about 8 on Saturday (there is no way I can do 8hours - I will do the 2 hours of seminar which involves some standing around, and maybe 2 more hours of social dance). Saturday night is a party with ballroom dancing, and with enough Ibuprofen and/or wine I may be able to do a bit of it. Sunday I am judging their test session so not skating, or at least not skating much, and that is fine because by then my legs will be shot to hell. They will just have to prop me up in the hockey box with a clipboard and I should be OK!

If I survive this dance weekend it bodes well for trying a couple of new ones next season. I've been promising to go back to Motown for many, many years, so we'll see if that's possible.

Today's Anatomy Lesson

I love this diagram. It shows major skating muscles (for hockey, but basic figure skating isn't that different).

Muscles shown above which were cut and reattached during my surgery are the Rectus Femoris (used for hip flexion) and Sartorius (used for hip flexion, abduction and rotation). Other quadriceps were moved aside when the hip capsule was opened. Iliopsoas was not cut, but is shortened due to inactivity. Adductor also stopped working when I was on crutches and had to be reactivated in physical therapy. Overall weakness and inflexibility are the result of these disturbances.

In the days and weeks following surgery, it was odd to have little control over basic movements. For example, during the first week or so I could not move my operated leg forward while standing as in taking a step. The muscles that provide that basic functionality were not working at all. Despite focusing all of my mental energy on moving my foot forward from the hip, I could not. I used my toes to "walk" my leg forward an inch or so in order to take a "step."

Similarly, while lying on my back, it was impossible to lift my operated leg at all. Try as I might, it wouldn't move. Similarly, while sitting down with my legs stretched in front of me, it was impossible to move my leg out to the side or back in toward the center. It was very disconcerting to have absolutely no use of these muscles! Of course, through physical therapy and lots of targeted exercises I did regain this functionality over time.

Knowing that the two muscles cut are both used for hip flexion, it's clear why this is still an issue.

I recently wrote to an orthopedic surgeon who is also a skater and who recently had arthroscopic hip surgery. After I described my surgery and its aftermath, she asked me if I was "in the business" because I "speak the lingo." I am not in the healthcare field, but I have certainly learned more than I ever wanted to know about my own body!

Progress comes in small packages ...

...which, over time, add up.



A back loop - no turnout required!

If I look at my progress on the ice day-to-day, I don't always see gains and sometimes I see setbacks. That's normal in skating, PAOs or no PAOs. I had a really dismal MIF lesson early in the month, but since then have been steadily progressing. I attribute this to a lot of balance work off the ice, more time on the ice, and general healing; healing won't be complete for another year so I have to keep that in mind.

If I look back one month, two months, and six months, progress is undeniable. I am not where I want to be, but I am doing more than I was a month ago, three months ago, six months ago. Since that's the way it is, I have to be happy with it, and not regret what I can't do.

Now that my muscles are stronger, I can skate longer and more frequently and I am not as sore for as long after I am done. I've religiously stretched my very tight psoas muscle and it has helped my posture and allowed me to get my hips under the rest of me so not only am I more centered, I look somewhat better.

Now that some of my balance issues are finally resolving, and my muscle memory sometimes works, it's usually a question of what my hips can do consistently. With every step I take on the ice, I concentrate on keeping my hips aligned, turning them out when necessary, using my nearby muscles (glutes, hip flexors, back muscles) appropriately, tightening my core, and balancing with my arms and free leg.

My mental concentration is enormous, especially when there is a sequence of moves required to accomplish a task on ice and the sequence is heavy on hip useage or changes directions through my core. I hsve broken down some moves into their smaller components for learning, and putting the pieces together is usually not easy or intuitive.

For example, one sequence I am working on consists of two back crossovers, step forward to FI edge, and immediately do two FI to BI mohawks, ending backward to repeat the sequence. The parts vary in difficulty for me (crossovers = easy; transition and step forward = very difficult; first mohawk = difficult; second mohawk = next to impossible). Each element within the sequence is also broken down into parts (xover to step forward = extend free leg under, change arms, change head, tighten core, move free leg, crank on hip to open up as much as it can, step while checking, strong check with arms and core afterward ... and on to the mohawk with its own set of parts). I couldn't do this at all 6 weeks ago. 4 weeks ago I could do it at a crawl with lots of scratching and cheating ("cheating" here means I did a flattish back counter before stepping forward). 2 weeks ago I could do it with a bit of flow but still lots of scratching and cheating. Yesterday I could do 3 patterns on each side, counter-clockwise better than clockwise (right hip is looser than left), still scratchy but the steps are more recognizeable.

Mental concentration allows me to do many things technically, but they aren't automatic enough for me to add any art, or dancing, into the equation yet. I often hear music I want to interpret, but I don't have the automatic vocabulary to do so any more. It's hard to string together different steps and turns that require different balance points and hip motions at this point, so doing some of the difficult dances (and a few of the easier ones) is still not possible.

On the other hand, I can do SOME of the difficult dances, sort of. Yesterday I worked on the Cha Cha Congelado solo and was able to get through a pattern of it, but not at speed or on tempo. I can do every piece of the dance, but can't put it into a cohesive unit yet, or dance it. While frustrating, I measure where I am by looking back at a time a few months ago when I couldn't even do the baby Cha Cha without major assistance. No complaints!

Frozen Cha Cha

My Friday moves-in-the-field lesson with Coach R was a disaster. It was just a frustrating day and I was depressed and whining. There is so much to re-learn that it's hard to focus, but I have to get it together.

By contrast, today was my first lesson with a male dance coach. Even though I am skating at about a bronze level, I need a goal to keep me interested and push myself. So we worked on the Cha Cha Congelado, an international dance that I should have tested before surgery but I was too busy stressing out about surgery to get my act together.

The dance itself isn't really that hard, although it has a lot of steps and some tricky partnering and timing. I know the timing well so that won't be an issue; doing two patterns at test level will be. There are no steps that my hips can't do so I think it's very possible to get it together. Maybe not to pass the test, but to skate it. We worked mainly on the promenade lobe into the re-start, and then walked through the rest. The back-to-back mohawk is a bit challenging for me (just not confident in the hips working as they should) and we will spend an entire lesson on it.

I have been working on balance almost every day and it is making a big difference in my abilities on the ice. I may not be skating any better but I am more confident when it doesn't feel as if I am about to fall over with every step. I was confident enough to try to skate with a partner today other than a coach or Tim. I skated a couple of dances with Doug (Swing and Ten-Fox) and he said that I am skating at about a Bronze level as a partner. That's "on average" - some things are better and some worse. But it means I can probably partner most of the dances through bronze at BAID(and by then, I hope, pre-silver and perhaps one silver, the American).

Oh yeah, and the Cha Cha Congelado.